


Peter Calls Tony a Bitch

by JustAnotherOutcast



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, This is lazy but I had fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 09:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16281731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnotherOutcast/pseuds/JustAnotherOutcast
Summary: Yep. He does. And makes dumb references. This fic will not age well.





	Peter Calls Tony a Bitch

**Author's Note:**

> Lmao I don't keep up with the mcu very well and the only version of The avengers I can write is the first team. So even though Spidey wasn't there then, he's gonna be now. Yeah.

It was a mistake, really. A total accident. Peter's time on the internet, though amusing, probably wasn't the best influence on his vocabulary. Casual references to vines and other memes slipped out of his mouth daily, flying over the Avenger's heads pretty much every time.

He had seriously confused Bruce once upon a time when the man sneezed, and Peter responded instantly with "Nice, Ron!" adopting an exaggerated Midwestern accent to boot. Bruce really didn't understand at all, and Peter had awkwardly shown him the vine as an explanation. It really ruined the joke, though.

And then there was the time Steve had made a ruckus about cleaning up the common space because he was sick of Tony leaving his shit everywhere. Peter couldn't stop cackling to himself as he watched Steve practically reenact the "Company is Coming" video without his knowledge. And then Thor asked why he was laughing, and Peter didn't think about it before he said, "Get rid of the couches. We can't let people know we _sit_."

Needless to say, Thor took it a little too literally, and Peter had to explain why Thor had chucked a sofa out of the window in the two minute time span that Steve had vanished to find a trash bag.

He'd also asked many a AI in the tower to play Despacito. He laughed when he realized he'd never actually heard the song until it was blared across the whole building.

But it wasn't just references that spouted from Peter's mouth. Random vocab leaked it's way in, most of it innocent, but some of it not so much. He said "mood" and "same" way too much, even annoying himself. He had most definitely announced himself with "It's ya boi" before, maybe even once as Spider-Man. Apples were "cronchy," minor in conveniences left him uttering "guess I'll die," and any little thing that bothered him was called a "binch."

Including Tony Stark. The man who gave him his suit and locked him a place in the Avenger's community. Well done, Peter.

And technically, really, no one could fault him for it. It was instinctual. They were playing a board game. Clue, specifically. Insults were bound to fly once or twice. But that didn't mean no one reacted to little Peter Parker cussing out his mentor.

"Okay, Prof. Plum—"

"Thanks kid," Tony grumbled as his pawn was whipped away from the entrance of the billiards room he had been working so hard to get to.

"—In the kitchen, with the knnnn— revolver."

Tony snorted, pulling a card from his deck and flashing it towards Peter. "Sorry, kiddo!"

"Bitch."

Tony blinked in shock, looking like he'd physically had to dodge a hit. And odd half-grin was on his face as he gaped, giving a cough of a laugh. "Excuse me?"

Peter, to his credit looked absolutely mortified, gaping much like his mentor was. "I, uh, I didn't," he stuttered, unable to get anything past his guilty expression.

And then Clint was snorting into his palm, trying to quell a heavy fit of giggles. Steve jabbed him with an elbow. "Don't encourage him!"

"Oh, let the kid swear," Natasha interjected, looking much more focused on her clue sheet than the players.

Tony looked betrayed, shifting his gaze to both Clint and Natasha, juggling between them before settling on Bruce, who sat quietly between them.

"He called me a bitch!"

Bruce raised his eyebrows as he nodded. "Yes, he did."

"You called me a bitch!" Tony swung back to Peter.

"No— It w—"

By then, Clint broke, peels of laughter falling from his lips. Peter was sure he was laughing at Peter's own reaction as much as he was Tony's.

"It's kind of accurate," Natasha mumbled, a grin gracing her features. Tony looked even more offended than he had previously. Bruce was chuckling lightly by now, and Thor held a grin.

Peter glanced around the table, feeling his embarrassment start to slip away. He felt a smile tug at his cheeks, and he bit his lips to try and suppress it. Tony noticed.

"Hey, no. You don't get to smile, he doesn't get to smile."

"Your turn, Thor," Natasha prompted, smiling more as Tony was clearly annoyed at being ignored.

"Unbelievable. I'm being insulted on my own property. By a kid."

Peter bit back a snort. "Sorry, Mr. Stark."

Tony just rolled his eyes. And if Peter didn't have super hearing, he wouldn't have heard Tony grumble to himself, "Oh, sure, he'll call me a bitch, but God forbid he call me Tony."

This time, Peter couldn't stop his smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, here's the links to those videos at the start
> 
> That bit with Bruce: [Nice Ron | Vine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dw-YaAAnNY)
> 
> Thor throws a couch out the window: (referenced part at 0:10) [COMPANY IS COMING](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBwELzvnrQg)


End file.
